


Time

by Lotica



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-09 02:25:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3232772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotica/pseuds/Lotica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She could just give it a few years and maybe their relationship would blow over. But... somehow, Liara now knew she needed more than time, and with that realization she feared that she would never have what she would need in order to find her place in Shepard's heart. (Starts out FShepley, ends up Shiara.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Time. If there was one thing Liara had to her advantage, it was that time was on her side. After all, the asari lifespan dwarfed those of most other races, and she herself was still quite young--even if her hundred years of living hardly endeared her to seeming youthful to those aforementioned other races. Just a little time and maybe....

_"But what about us, Shepard? Is there a mutual attraction? Or was I wrong about that too?"_

She wished she hadn't been so straightforward, that she'd only held back and waited a few years--that she'd never asked Shepard to choose between her and Ashley. Would Shepard have chosen differently if only she hadn't bombarded the commander with her feelings, if she'd never pushed her to make a choice in the first place?

That's what haunted her--that things could've turned out differently if only she hadn't been so inexperienced, so naive, so... young.

She grimaced to herself, pacing slowly around the waiting room as Glyph's sensors tracked her movement. Shepard was visiting Ashley in her hospital room to talk for the first time since Mars. Liara felt badly for it, but in a way, she wished that the visit would go poorly--that they wouldn't reconcile, that they would go their separate ways. She could be there to comfort Shepard, and in that maybe grow closer to her, which... would make her the worst kind of person, but she couldn't deny that her thoughts had wandered in that direction--more than wandered, really, it was all Liara could focus on.

How could she think like that? Ashley had been a friend, a squadmate, and deep down she knew Ash truly loved Shepard despite their confrontation on Horizon and the tense atmosphere between them on Mars.

And on top of it, there was a war going on. She should be devoting her time to finding more resources for the Crucible, funding the war, using her Shadow Broker status to move mountains, not think toxic thoughts about her commander and their relationship status--or pointed lack thereof.

Just as Liara began to mentally beat herself up, Shepard emerged from the back room.

Liara straightened up, walking over to her with a concerned look. "Well? How did it go?"

Shepard breathed a sigh before her face lit up like the first day of spring. Liara felt a sinking feeling in her chest.

"We still have things to work out, but I have faith in us," Shepard intoned as she folded her hands, looking more resolute than ever.

The sinking feeling turned into that of a knife into Liara's heart as both regret and guilt washed over her.

"Oh," Liara replied impassively before injecting some enthusiasm into her response, "I'm glad to hear it, and I'm pleased that Ash is on the mend. Any word on how long her stay will be?" She wasn't so black-hearted as to wish ill on her squadmate so that she could claim Shepard's heart in her stead--she was truly glad that Ash would be alright. Liara just... wanted Shepard's heart for herself.

"A few more weeks, though I'm sure she'll be itching to blow this joint long before then." Shepard stretched a little and chuckled.

Liara laughed as well--albeit almost nervously--and extended her hand to Shepard. "Shall we go, then?"

Shepard took her hand and smiled--oh, if only Shepard would smile like that only at her, she would be happy for the rest of her life. "Yeah, let's get out of here."

"And go where, Commander?"

"To the stars! Or the bar. Which rhymes, but ultimately it's up to you, my dear." Shepard swung their entwined hands playfully.

"The stars sound nice, but a drink sounds better," Liara admitted, wanting a drink after the events that had just unfolded.

They both decided that at that current moment they preferred the quiet atmosphere of the Normandy to that of Purgatory or Silversun Strip, and so they headed back to the lounge and poured out a few rounds.

"I was just so scared when Ash was attacked on Mars, you know?" Shepard sipped her drink, eyes glazed over just a little as she stared forward. "I realized that I didn't want to lose her."

"I know how it feels to not want to lose somebody," Liara mumbled back--she was considerably more intoxicated than Shepard, something which rarely ever happened for Liara, but she'd settled on not having any inhibitions, not tonight.

"Yeah?"

"My mother, Feron..." Liara trailed off. "You know, if we're reminiscing, you don't happen to remember that time on the original Normandy where Ash and I asked you to choose between us?"

Shepard let out an explosive laugh, and Liara felt a little hurt by it.

"What? I don't think it was very funny." Liara crossed her arms.

"No, I'm not laughing at you Liara, don't look so crestfallen. It's just... God, that was so long ago." Shepard finished off her drink and poured another.

"Was it really? I mean, I suppose it was, but it feels like just yesterday for me."

"It would, wouldn't it? Miss Hundred-Year-Old."

"Oh, stop it."

"I think I know what you're getting at, though," Shepard related thoughtfully. "You're very special to me, Liara. So is Ash, just in a different way--but you'll always be my Liara."

Shepard put her arm around Liara's shoulders, and Liara could practically feel her heart beat out of her chest. On a drunken whim, she rested her head on Shepard's arm, nuzzling into it.

"Thank you, Shepard. That really means a lot to me," came Liara's heartfelt reply. A part of her considered confessing her feelings right then and there, but... she'd already been rejected. Once on the original Normandy, and... again, just now.

She'd been rejected twice.

"I... I think I need to return to my cabin, I'm afraid I've had a bit too much to drink," Liara blurted out with an apologetic smile.

She abruptly stood up, intending to leave Shepard no time to say anything in response.

"I didn't say anything wrong, did I?" Shepard looked up at Liara with drunkenly dejected eyes, and Liara felt sick inside.

"No, no, it's just... I feel a little sick." It wasn't a lie, not really.

Shepard patted Liara on her backside. "Head back to your room and get some rest."

"Will do, Commander."

It took everything in her to hold back her tears before she reached her room. What a fool she'd been even mentioning what happened on the original Normandy. And no inhibitions? What a half-baked attempt at that, she couldn't even say the words, "I love you." All she'd managed to do was to get drunk, rejected, and upset. At the end of the day, even through her steely big bad Shadow Broker facade, she was still too inexperienced, too naive, too damned young.

Time. She could just give it a few years and maybe their relationship would blow over. But... somehow, Liara now knew she needed more than time, and with that realization she feared that she would never have what she would need in order to find her place in Shepard's heart.


	2. Chapter 2

Time. It had been some time since Liara had left the lounge, and something didn't sit right with Shepard. She knew Liara-she knew that the asari wasn't the type to drink to the point of getting sick. Though... what if she _had_ gotten ill? What if she'd maybe caught a bug or something of the sort? What kind of friend would Shepard be if she didn't at least go and check on Liara?

Yeah... after all, it always helps to have someone hold your hair-or tentacles, or whatever-back if you're going to barf your guts out, or so Shepard surmised.

And with that, she stood up and made her way first to the bathrooms to see if any tentacle-holding would be in order. After ascertaining that Liara was indeed not in the bathroom, she made her way to the elevator, getting halfway to the CIC before realizing that in her drunken state she'd forgotten that Liara's room was also on the crew deck.

"Hoooly shit..." Shepard mumbled to herself as she hobbled back out the elevator, determined to get to Liara's room. Hopefully she wouldn't be the one needing the hair-holding.

"Liara?" Shepard called out and knocked on the cabin door firmly. She flinched after doing so, the thought occurring to her after the fact that she might be disturbing her friend's rest. It was then that she thought she heard the sound of... was that... sniffling? Was Liara crying?

"Liara?" Shepard said again, this time more gently. "Are you up? I'd like to talk to you."

There was a pause.

"Ah, yes, just a moment," came the delayed reply from inside the room.

Shepard stood there, wondering what could be wrong, but now she knew that her instincts were right: something was definitely off, and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

The door opened and Shepard walked in to find Liara sitting on her bed with a dejected posture, her face turned away.

"Oh, Liara... please look at me."

Slowly, her face turned to look at Shepard. Her eyes were hopelessly glassy and bloodshot, as if she'd just been-

"Liara, have you been crying?" Shepard asked with sincere concern as she moved in next to Liara, sitting down beside her and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"No!" Liara sputtered before looking down at her lap and rasping out a small sounding, "...Yes."

Shepard felt awful. It must've been because they were talking about her mother.

"It really is something I said isn't it?"

"No, it's not that I swear. It's just that..." Liara bit her lip.

Shepard could feel her heart twinge. She hated to see Liara looking so sad-it stirred something in her, something that made her want to make that sadness go away any way that she could.

Inching a little closer to Liara, she softly inquired, "It's just that what?"

Liara covered her face and let out a wracking sob, and immediately Shepard wrapped her arms around the asari.

"You don't have to hide from me, Liara. You can tell me what's wrong. I'm your friend, and I'm not going anywhere," Shepard reassured her, stroking her arm before releasing her hold and setting her face in front of Liara's with a sweet smile, encouraging the asari to take her hands away from her face. Only this didn't seem to work, Liara's crying intensifying momentarily before she sniffled.

"That's just the thing," Liara blubbered. "You're my _friend_."

"And... that's a negative?" Shepard didn't know what Liara was trying to say.

"You're my friend, and nothing... more."

"More?" She was beginning to understand what Liara was getting at-or at least she thought she did-but then again, no. That couldn't possibly be it. There was just no way. It was a conceited thing to think, that Liara could feel that way about her. But... in a way... Shepard felt that twinge in her heart again, and she couldn't explain it. "What do you mean by 'more'?"

"Shepard!" Liara's hands were gone from her face all at once, her features contorted into a strange expression. "I'm in love with you!"

There was dead silence in the cabin. It hit Shepard all at once, and... the truth was, she didn't even know how she felt. She felt like such a terrible girlfriend, but part of her couldn't deny that she was happy hearing that Liara loved her.

"By the Goddess, Shepard, I'm so sorry, I never should have said that, you-you have Ashley and besides, how could you ever love someone like me, I-" The twinge in Shepard's heart exploded and before she knew what she was doing, she leaned in and pressed her lips against Liara's.

* * *

Liara stiffened at first, completely overloaded by the situation, but soon melted into the kiss-her first ever-desperately trying not to blunder it somehow.

"So, this is what it feels like," Liara mused to herself. She never expected kissing to be so... tender. It was like time had halted somehow and there were only the two of them—no Reapers, no war, no Normandy, just Shepard and Liara, slowly dancing together through space in perfect harmony.

She smiled into the kiss briefly before nervously giggling, breaking it off. Ah, damn, she'd gone and blundered it—but Shepard just took the opportunity to gently suck on Liara's bottom lip, which made her whimper. Liara attempted to respond in kind, tentatively using her teeth to tug on Shepard's lip, something she'd read somewhere once and always wanted to try. Shepard breathily moaned, reaching out to entwine her fingers with Liara's as they fell back on the bed.

She couldn't believe this was happening to her, it all felt like a dream. Was Shepard really kissing her right now? What did this mean for Shepard and Ashley? Was this a proclamation of love or just some drunken encounter they'd both forget in the morning?

"Ah... damn it all," Liara thought to herself. She didn't care. Tonight, Shepard was hers. She wanted this, whatever it was, despite what she might feel in the morning.

Liara opened her eyes to find that Shepard was looking back at her.

"Hello beautiful," came Shepard's quiet avowal, a starry smile plastered on her face.

"Shh..." Liara held a finger to Shepard's mouth, quickly replacing it with her lips. Shepard placed a hand on Liara's waist, and Liara leaned in closer to Shepard, wrapping a leg around hers. Without thinking, Shepard hiked up her leg between Liara's thighs, and Liara gasped.

Shepard's grip on Liara's waist tightened before she had a moment of clarity and stopped.

"Wait, Liara..." Shepard pulled back as she cast her gaze aside. "I... This is going too fast, and I need some time to think. I'm sorry."

Liara was a bit taken aback, but deep down she knew this was coming, and she understood, really. She didn't want to be the other woman, she wanted Shepard to be sure of this.

"No, you're right. I'm the one who should be sorry. I never meant to put you in this position." Liara was still a bit mortified that she'd even opened her big mouth in the first place, even more so that now she'd put Shepard in this uncomfortable situation.

"You can't help how you feel Liara. And..." Shepard held Liara's hand. "The truth is I was happy when you told me you loved me." Liara could practically feel her heart beat out of her chest upon hearing those words. "I need to sort out how I feel. I just need time."

"I understand. Take all the time you need. I'll be waiting," Liara gazed hopefully into Shepard's eyes, determined. She almost wished for one more kiss, but she would never dream of pressuring Shepard.

With that, Shepard lifted herself off the bed and left the cabin, making her way back to her own room.

Liara touched her fingers to her lips, still unbelieving that just minutes before, she'd been kissing Shepard. If this was a dream, she didn't want to wake up.

That being said, Liara couldn't help but feel anxious about who Shepard would choose—Ashley or herself. She trusted Shepard and would respect her choice, but she longed so badly for Shepard to choose her. At least there was a glimmer of hope—after all, Shepard had confided to reacting positively to Liara's confession.

She adjusted herself on the bed, attempting to clear her mind and get some rest before tomorrow, which she had a feeling would be a big day.

Time. That's what Shepard needed, and Liara knew that she had all of it to give.


	3. Chapter 3

Time. Yeah, Shepard felt the same way she did the morning after shore leave, but she knew that this couldn't wait, not after what had happened the night before. She needed to talk to Ashley today—it was time—despite the fact that she kind of wanted to hug a trash can. Or a toilet bowl. Or both. Whichever was closest, really.

No, this couldn't wait. Shepard just needed to take some ibuprofen and suck it up the best she could.

It was just that, well, yesterday's visit hadn't quite gone as well as she'd hoped, in spite of Shepard's sunny report to Liara about how optimistic she was about mending their relationship. Ashley had expressed—to say the least—her dissent when it came to Shepard's interim fling with Miranda, refusing to accept that Shepard was sure Ashley had cut ties with her after Horizon. There was a lot of yelling, arguing, and some insult-slinging, though eventually Ashley broke down and blamed it all on her being worried about her family back on Earth. Shepard decided to let it all slide and wait until Ashley was in a better state to seriously talk about the two of them. After all, Shepard had never really stopped caring about Ashley, despite everything they'd been through, so she was willing to try and work things out even if it wasn't easy.

Shepard anxiously made her way to the inpatient wing of Huerta Memorial Hospital, wringing her hands before taking a deep breath, straightening out, and walking through the doors of Ashley's room.

“Hey there, skipper,” Ashley acknowledged, still bruised from her Mars encounter.

“What've you been up to since we last talked, Ash?”

“Been reading Tennyson. Other than that, not a whole lot. I'm not much for people-watching, and that's about all there is to do here besides marathon sleeping.” She attempted to sit up a little bit but ultimately settled on just propping her head up.

“Glad you're enjoying that book I picked up for ya.” Shepard flicked at it with her fingers.

Ashley chortled. “Yeah, I'd be kind of lost without it to be honest.”

“You know, the last time I was here, we kind of ended on a sour note,” Shepard mentioned, scratching the back of her neck sheepishly.

“Something about you telling me I didn't get to be angry or hurt about you joining Cerberus?” Ashley countered playfully, completely unaware of the reaction she would get from Shepard, who was so immediately furious that she was almost at a loss for words.

“For the love of God and all things holy, would you let that go already?!” Shepard didn't mean to go from zero to sixty in mere seconds, but nothing got her blood boiling faster than Ashley's mistrust of Shepard's intentions when it came to Cerberus. Not only that, but the way Ashley had said it doubled Shepard's fury.

“No, I'm not going to let it go!” Ashley met Shepard's rage with her own. “First they resurrected you, doing God knows what to you in the process, and then you  _join up with them_ even after they slaughtered your entire squad on Akuze! For all I know, you could still be their sleeper agent or some latent cyborg just waiting to—”

“What's going on in here?” A salarian hospital staff member walked into the room, clearly perturbed by all the shouting.

“Spectre business. Move along,” Shepard maintained.

“Yes, well, do try and keep it down, you're certainly not the only people the war dragged in,” the staff member sniffed as he made his way out.

Shepard didn't skip a beat.

“Seriously, Ash? You said you accepted that I cut all ties with Cerberus. Is this what you've really thought all along?” Shepard was incredulous, she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

“I don't know, I guess deep down I always had my suspicions. You just can't trust Cerberus and they've practically slapped a brand on you,” Ashley retaliated with a wave of her hand.

That hurt Shepard deeply. Out of all the friends she had that had followed her to hell and back, Ashley was closest to her heart—and yet Ash was the one who at the end of the day would never really trust her, no matter how hard she tried. It was that same trust that was given to her without even asking by every comrade under her command, that same trust that she couldn't even get from Ash by begging.

“Shepard, damn it, don't cry,” Ashley leaned over to wipe away a tear, but Shepard moved out of her reach.

Shepard didn't cry often, not seriously, at least. She teared up over frivolous things like movies and sappy songs, but always had trouble when it came to cold hard reality. This was too much for her though—she was too overwhelmed by the realization that literally everyone she knew trusted her more than the woman she thought she loved.

“I'm never going to be good enough for you, am I?” The words poured out of Shepard exactly at the moment she realized how true they were.

“That's not true, that's not what I'm saying! Don't twist this around and make me look like the bad guy here when all I'm doing is looking out for you!” Ashley looked desperate, finally managing to sit up.

“No, I think it's pretty damn spot-on. You know, not everyone that followed me through the Omega 4 Relay had a favorable opinion of Cerberus either, but they  _trusted_ me because they cared about me. They realized that I was doing what I was doing for the right reasons—and I was. The Collectors are gone because of us. You couldn't even do that—you couldn't even believe in me.”

“That's such a low blow Shepard, I never thought I would hear you say that.” The look of disgust on Ashley's face almost made Shepard feel wrong somehow, but she stood her ground.

“Yeah, well, I never thought I would have to, and I don't regret it because that's how I really feel.”

“You know what? Yeah... I think we're better off going our separate ways,” Ashley concluded, her disgust morphing into disdain.

“I think you're right.” Shepard didn't even bother looking behind her as she walked out the doors.

* * *

 

“Y'know EDI, back on Earth, there's a saying—the only true hangover remedy is to never stop being drunk,” Shepard knocked back her drink as she swayed to the rhythm of 'If You Like Pina Coladas,' which Joker had convinced EDI to play for their inebriated commander. “But EDI, you don't understand...” Shepard grabbed EDI by the shoulder and stared her right in her face, dead serious. “ _I am the liquor.”_

“Shepard, do you wish to talk about what has driven you to such a level of intoxication? My data suggests that when humans get as intoxicated as you seem to be at the moment, they're likely under a severe amount of stress.” EDI seemed to be genuinely concerned for Shepard.

“Man,” Shepard just shook her head. “ _Bitches._ ”

“Are you referring to your recent visit with Lieutenant-Commander Williams?”

“Yes, EDI, yes I am,” Shepard affirmed with much bravado. “And let me tell you, we are  _sooo_ over.”

“EDI? You paged me?” Liara ducked her head into the room.

“EDI, you didn't,” Shepard chastised as she gave EDI a defrauded pout. “I thought we were bonding. I thought you liked pina coladas!”

“I've never had one, so I can't say whether or not I like them, and I paged Liara because it would seem you two have much to discuss after last night.”

There was a pause before Shepard and Liara both shouted in unison, giving each other a strange look while simultaneously realizing that EDI could and did hear everything that happens on the ship.

“I should be getting back to the flight deck,” EDI singsonged as she tiptoed out of the lounge.

“Well, that was decently awkward,” Liara remarked, sitting on the couch beside Shepard.

“Heh, you could say that again,” Shepard went to drink and found that her glass was empty. Dismayed, she set the glass down, too lazy to pour herself another.

“So, you went to visit Ashley today.”

Yeah, no, that was enough to motivate Shepard to fill her glass. Liara winced at the gesture. Shepard was clearly already  _plastered._

“I'm... guessing it didn't go as well as you'd hoped.”

“To put it mildly,” Shepard started, downing half her drink before continuing on. “You know what she said to me? She said that I could be a goddamn Cerberus cyborg just waiting to betray the Alliance at any second!”

Liara tried not to laugh, she really did, but nonetheless a snort escaped as her effort failed and her tone betrayed her. “Shepard, are you sure you're not just  _very_ drunk? I know Ashley has some prejudices against Cerberus, but I can't imagine her saying that.”

“She did! She said it!” Shepard raised her glass in the air to assert herself. “You know what else she said? She said that I wasn't into 'real people' because I had a thing with Miranda. How insulting can you get, I'm just glad Miri wasn't around to hear that because she'd have punched her in the  _face.”_

Shepard muttered something incomprehensible into her glass before finishing off its contents. “Or maybe not, Miri has more class than that. She's not like me. But....” Her fingers danced along the rim of her glass, and her temerity eased into something quieter. “Regardless, it's over. She doesn't trust me, she never will, and what's love without trust? It's just that....”

Liara's eyes widened a little as Shepard reached out for her hand.

“I told Ash that she couldn't even care about me or trust me the way my friends did during my Cerberus days. And... I still remember what you said to me when I invited you to the Normandy after we defeated the Shadow Broker, that even though I was with Cerberus, you trusted me to stick to my beliefs. That means as much to me now as it did then.” Shepard squeezed Liara's hand. “Maybe even more now.”

“Shepard....”

“You've always been here for me, Liara. You've been here all along, through everything.”

“Shepard. Wait.”

“And I think I—”

“Shepard!” Liara insisted. “Look, I've wanted to hear these words from you for a long time. But right now, I know you're hurting, and I don't want to take advantage of you. So, I'm going to bed, and I'll talk to you tomorrow, sober—that is, unless you'd like me to escort you to your room on the way out.”

Shepard really, really wanted to say it—that on some level, a part of her had always loved Liara. That wasn't going to change regardless of her sobriety, but Liara was right: it was just a bad time and place.

“...Damn it, I know you're right. Okay then, escort me,” Shepard determined with a firm nod. She attempted to stand up but was hopelessly couch-locked. “Um... help?”

Liara helped Shepard up and wrapped an arm around her waist to aid her walk to the elevator, which was far more treacherous than Shepard thought it would be. The elevator ride was a blur and suddenly, Shepard couldn't wait to get to her cabin and crawl into bed. Inevitably they reached the cabin and Liara guided Shepard over to her bed, tucking her in and gingerly planting a kiss on her forehead. She decided to place a large glass of water and a few ibuprofen next to Shepard's bedside for the morning and then went to shut the lights off.

“Good night, Shepard,” Liara murmured as she flipped the last switch.

“Mmf,” Shepard groaned into her pillow.

Time. In time, Shepard would be alright, even if she wasn't that night. 


	4. Chapter 4

Liara rolled over and slammed her alarm clock. It was time to get up and face the day. First up on the agenda was to check on her Shadow Broker feeds and then to check on Shepard, who would very likely be appreciating some help.

Truth be told, she was still reeling from the previous night. Though she didn't give Shepard the chance to say it, it certainly sounded like Shepard was ready to make some sort of confession to her. Her heart jumped at the thought—but... was Shepard really ready? She'd just broken up with her girlfriend and could potentially be on the rebound. Liara doubted that Shepard would use her like that, but alcohol could make people do things they normally wouldn't. After all, she'd been the drunk one a few nights earlier professing her feelings to Shepard, something that she'd never thought she'd do in literally a thousand years.

What really terrified Liara, though, was the thought of Shepard actually loving her. Goddess, she was so inept, or so she felt, when it came to matters of the heart. How could someone seventy years younger than her seem so much more decisive and undaunted? It was all she could do to not come off like a bumbling fool every time she conversed with Shepard, how cringe-worthy would she act in the event that they entered into a relationship?

A relationship... the thought seemed so... foreign to Liara. Yes, she had loved Shepard for so very long, but she'd grown so used to the thought of it being an unrequited love that she'd never really considered the ramifications of anything more. Maybe she shouldn't be questioning whether Shepard was ready but rather whether  _she_ was ready. 

“Damn it, if I'm not ready now, when will I ever be?” Liara censured herself as she rolled over and gazed in her mirror. “Stop being such a coward,” she spoke to herself, looking her reflection in the eyes unflinchingly. 

She rolled back over, remembering that Shepard had been lying there in her bed with her a only a couple of nights ago. Liara idly traced her sheets for a minute before touching her fingers to her lips—she could still feel Shepard there, still recall so clearly how it felt to kiss her and look into her eyes knowing that she was looking back. Her stomach fluttered—butterflies, or so she'd heard it described—and she heaved a sigh. She'd better get started on work before she sank too deep into reverie. 

After getting some work done, she made her way up the elevator to the CIC to speak with Specialist Traynor and see if there was any news she could bring to Shepard. There really wasn't anything, so she made her way up to Shepard's cabin. The room was dark and the atmosphere was heavy. 

Liara took a deep breath. This was it. 

“Shepard?” She gently called out. 

A moan came from the direction of the bed and Liara turned on a light. 

Shepard looked terrible. She was curled up in bed hugging a pillow close to her chest. 

“Oh, Shepard....” Liara walked over to the bedside table and grabbed the ibuprofen she'd set there the night before. “Here, take this. You'll feel better.” 

Shepard managed to sit up, squinting at the ibuprofen as she reached for the glass of water. She took the pills shakily, downing them as quickly as she could with the assistance of the water. 

“Thank you, Liara,” Shepard managed to rasp as she laid back down, hugging her pillow once more. 

“Did you manage to get some rest?” 

“Slept like the dead. No nightmares last night, so despite feeling like complete hell right now, I'm content,” Shepard uttered, her demeanor seeming far less satisfied than she alluded to. 

“Have you been having a lot of nightmares lately?” Liara was curious. 

“Just... one recurring one that's been keeping be from getting any good rest. Heh, I won't be repeating last night's bender anytime soon, but maybe I'll start having a drink or two before bed from now on if it'll keep the boogeyman away.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Liara sat beside Shepard and stroked her hair. 

“I...” Shepard rolled over to face Liara. “I don't know. I'll try.” She fidgeted a little, leaning into Liara's touch as a faraway look loomed on her face. “There was a little boy back on Earth, couldn't have been older than six or seven. I watched him die as we escaped on the Normandy. In the dream, I'm chasing him through a forest with shadowy figures surrounding us until he stops and then burns up in flames, all while I can hear whispers of the people I've lost—like Kaidan and Mordin. ” 

It hurt Liara to see Shepard look so dejected, like the weight of the world—or the universe, even—was all on her shoulders. 

“Shepard, that's terrible, I'm so sorry,” Liara voiced, cupping Shepard's cheek. 

“Yeah, guess my conscience is starting to really feel guilty,” Shepard quipped with downcast eyes. 

“You've done nothing that you should feel ashamed of.” 

“Well, there's last night....” 

Liara froze. She knew the topic would come up, but regardless, she wasn't sure she was adequately prepared for this discussion despite her morning pep talk. 

“Seriously, I'm sorry about that. I don't remember exactly what I said other than that my timing was wildly inappropriate.” Shepard looked up at Liara with an apologetic expression. 

“...It's alright, really. Grief has driven people to do crazier things than what you did last night,” Liara coaxed with an inward sigh of relief as she ran her thumb along Shepard's cheekbone. 

“I know what I  _wanted_ to say,” Shepard continued as she placed her hand over Liara's. “And I promise I'll say it, soon, when the time is right.” 

Liara's heart pounded in her ears, and if she didn't know better she could swear that it could be heard by anyone within reasonable distance. 

“Shepard, I—” 

“Commander Shepard, I have good news—oh, am I interrupting...? Because I can totally leave!” Samantha Traynor started backpedaling almost as soon as she entered the room. 

Liara's hand flew from Shepard's face, causing her to inadvertently smack Shepard in the nose. 

“First—ow. Second, no, you don't have to go. What's up?” Shepard tried to sit up a little. 

“Oh, right. Well, it seems that Admiral Hackett just sent a message regarding shore leave—not that I read the message or anything, I just saw the title and thought that given recent events it would cheer you up. Er, not that I'm prying into your personal business or anything—” Samantha was clearly flustered, using wild hand gestures in an attempt to get her point across and dropping her datapad in the process. 

“Calm down, Traynor. And please, not so loud,” Shepard requested as she held her head delicately, shrinking back a bit. 

“Sorry!” Samantha winced. “Er,  _sorry.”_  

“It's alright, it's alright. Could you go ahead and sum up that message to me?” 

“Right.” She picked up her datapad. “Basically, it just says that the Normandy is in need of repair and that the crew gets to take advantage of shore leave while said repairs are being done. ” 

“Sounds good to me, we'll head to the Citadel once I get my bearings. Which... might... be tomorrow,” Shepard admitted with a grimace. 

“Good, good. I'll leave you two to it, then.” Samantha didn't leave either of the other two women a chance to reply before she was out the door. 

Silence hung in the air for a moment before Liara chose to break it. 

“Do you feel alright? Is there anything you'd like me to get you?” 

“No, I think that ibuprofen is starting to kick in, so thank you for that, but... could I ask you something?” 

“Anything.” 

“Stay with me?” Shepard blurted in a small voice. Liara was a bit taken aback, she wasn't used to seeing Shepard so vulnerable. It endeared Liara to her, and she smiled warmly in response. 

“Of course.” 

Shepard moved over on the bed and motioned for Liara to lay down next to her, to which she obliged. 

“Thank you, Liara.” 

“Anytime, Shepard.” 

It didn't take long for Shepard to fall back asleep, and soon Liara found herself drifting off as well.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, Shepard awoke to find herself alone in bed. She expected as much, but a part of her wished that Liara had stayed. That being said, she was feeling much better, so she decided to grab a shower, after which she checked her messages. There was one from Liara saying that she had something she wanted to show Shepard in her cabin, which intrigued her. Liara hadn't mentioned this project in any prior conversations.

“Liara?” Shepard called Liara's room. “You had something you wanted to discuss in my cabin?”

“Yes, I'll be right up.”

Shepard took the opportunity to tell Joker to route them to the Citadel while she waited for Liara to make her way to the cabin.

“How you feelin', Commander? Haven't heard from you since pina coladas night,” Joker commented, still amused that he could get EDI to dig that song up to play for the occasion.

“I'm fully recovered, thanks. And be sure to thank EDI for serenading me.”

“Hey, it was my idea, where's my thanks?” Joker indignantly demanded.

“When you sing 'If You Like Pina Coladas' to me, then I'll thank you.”

“IF YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS AND GETTIN' CAUGHT IN THE RAIN—”

It was then that Liara walked into the cabin, completely failing to stifle laughter.

“Thank you, Joker! That'll be all!” Shepard cut the intercom and coughed.

“Well, he certainly has a... lovely singing voice,” Liara noted with a hum.

“It's terrible, and that's why I love him,” Shepard admitted.

“Could we sit?”

Shepard took note of the little box in Liara's hands before responding. “Sure thing.” She took her place on the couch while Liara knelt in front of the coffee table, placing the box down on it.

“I've been thinking about the knowledge we gathered on the Reapers, and how easily it could be lost again,” Liara uttered while fiddling around with the settings. “So...” She looked up at Shepard. “I put a plan in motion to preserve things for the future.”

“What's this?” By that point, Shepard was dying to know what the box actually was.

“A record of the galaxy. Information on the Reapers, relays, different cultures... and blueprints of the Crucible.” Liara stood up. “But there's one entry I wanted your opinion on.”

“Which one?”

“Your own.” Liara knelt back down as a VI of Shepard popped up over the device. “I'd be honored to have your input. How would you like history to remember you?”

Shepard thought for a second before deciding. “You know me well enough to fill in the blanks, Liara.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I'd like it to be your call,” Shepard determined with a small smile.

“I'll start by saying Commander Shepard was born on Earth and fought harder than anyone else for her homeworld.” Liara paced slowly around the cabin. “Shepard was also a deadly tactical fighter. Most enemies never saw her coming. She was a leader who knew when to be persuasive and when to apply pressure. And it was a privilege to know her.” Liara looked over at Shepard, her eyes sparkling. Shepard couldn't help but smile back in response.

“Careful this doesn't sound like a diary,” Shepard warned playfully.

“I can't help myself. You're a good friend, Shepard.” Liara moved over to sit by Shepard on the couch.

“You've been there for me, too, Liara.”

“No, I haven't. I wish I could have joined you back on Illium,” Liara lamented, leaning forward.

“You made up for it,” Shepard earnestly imparted.

Liara reclined back. “Well, I suppose I did just write your name in the stars.”

“How romantic,” Shepard cooed, clinging to Liara's arm.

A silence passed between them, Shepard not realizing that her facetious gesture meant more to both of them than she intended. There were several ways she could get out of it, but at that point, she figured that if she were already in it then she might as well go for it and with that, she rested her head on Liara's shoulder.

“Shepard....” Liara hesitantly started.

“You know... this feels right.”

“It... kind of does, doesn't it?”

“I've been meaning to tell you this, and I think the time's finally right. Liara... it's you, and I think deep down I've known that it always has been. You've been here for me through everything despite what you may think, you never doubted me—hell, I wouldn't even be alive if not for you. You—”

“Shepard.”

“Liara,” Shepard turned towards her. “I'm trying to tell you something important. I'm trying to tell you that I love you,” she let slip out before realizing the weight of what she was saying, even if she meant every word.

Liara paused before she smiled softly. “I know.”

Before Shepard could question whether Liara had been watching old vids with Joker—namely Star Wars— Liara gently pressed her lips to Shepard's. Shepard could feel heat rush to her ears—it wasn't like she hadn't kissed many times before, but with Liara, it was different. Special. Her lips tingled at the contact, and it was slow and sweet. Shepard moved to plant tender kisses along Liara's jawline, and Liara hummed her approval.

“Ah, Shepard.... that's nice,” Liara confessed, her fingers curling at her sides.

Shepard made her way down to Liara's neck, suckling lightly to elicit a soft moan.

“T-That's _really_ nice,” Liara whimpered.

Shepard couldn't help but chuckle. She loved the reaction she was getting.

“Oh, you mean... this?” Shepard licked the spot on Liara's neck just a bit before sucking down again harder than before. Liara shuddered, her voice catching in her throat as her hand reflexively reached out and grabbed Shepard's thigh. Shepard shivered.

“Yes,” Liara breathily replied, caressing the inside of Shepard's thigh with her thumb, to which Shepard instinctively responded by slightly parting her legs. Liara took the opportunity to slide her hand up Shepard's thigh a bit more, and Shepard stopped working on Liara's neck to mewl at the sensation.

“Do you... like that?” Liara tentatively inquired.

“Very much,” Shepard murmured, nuzzling into Liara's neck, moaning as Liara continued her ministrations.

“You make the most beautiful sounds, Shepard.” Liara's hand moved further up Shepard's thigh and Shepard gasped—Liara was dangerously close to her groin.

“Oh, thank you,” Shepard hummed, feeling herself blush.

“Is it alright if I...?” Shepard knew what Liara was asking, and Shepard nodded her assent. With that, Liara's hand moved upwards and Shepard practically jumped. Liara gently stroked her index finger, and Shepard desperately clung to Liara.

“Uh, Shepard? We're here,” Joker awkwardly interjected over the intercom.

“Dammit Joker, we're busy!” Shepard yelled back, totally furious.

“Well excuse me, princess!”

“Call me princess again and I will kick your brittle-bony ass, Joker!” Shepard darkly threatened.

“My ass is neither bony nor brittle, thank you very much! There's no specific ass bone for you to break, you know, and my ass is perfectly supple. Isn't it, EDI?”

Shepard couldn't hear EDI's response, but Joker soon chided back with, “Aw, you're no help!”

“Whatever, just get us docked. Ground transport won't be necessary, so don't worry about it,” Shepard barked, annoyed.

“Alright. I'll let you two get back to whatever it is you were doing,” Joker intoned smugly.

The intercom cut out, but Shepard still agonized, “Thanks for killing the mood, Joker.”

Liara just burst into laughter, tearing up in the process.

“You okay, Liara?”

“Yes, I'm fine, his timing is just impeccable,” Liara replied between laughing and wiping away stray tears.

Shepard just looked at Liara—really looked at her. “God, Liara, I love you so much,” she expressed with wonderment. And to think, this amazing woman loved her back. How lucky was she?

“I love you, too, Shepard,” Liara crooned, her face barely containing her smile.

“I think I'm gonna grab a nap before we hit the Citadel. Care to join me?” Shepard asked.

“Of course,” came Liara's instant reply.

They made their way over to the bed, crawling under the covers together, holding each other as they both fell asleep.

 


End file.
